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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30110916">cold shoulders and a lack of closure.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cutting, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No Smut, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Harm, Suicide, Unhappy Ending, not really underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30110916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>wilbur loves tommy but tommy doesn’t feel the same</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot/TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cold shoulders and a lack of closure.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>tears filled wilburs eyes, the cold night air in july. he sat there on his roof. staring at the sky </p><p>face stained red with tears,</p><p>heavy eye bags,</p><p>lost in his thoughts.</p><p>he was insane. crazy. what brought him to this point in his life.</p><p>tommy did</p><p>tommy fucking innit.</p><p>though he did nothing wrong. it was wilbur who was in the wrong.</p><p>wilbur felt like a horrible person. he knew he shouldn’t feel any way other than a brotherly or friendship love for tommy.</p><p>but he didn’t.</p><p>he wanted so much more,</p><p>but it’s wrong and it won’t happen.</p><p>wilbur went back into his room through the window, he left the window open to get some fresh air i his room.</p><p>the moonlight being the only light source.</p><p>his room was a mess.</p><p>clothes pilled everywhere </p><p>trash on his nightstand and overfilling his small trash can.</p><p>he opened his discord on his phone basically throwing himself in bed.</p><p>there was messages from tommy.</p><p>“wilbur please answer we miss you.”</p><p>they don’t miss you they just don’t wanna seem mean.</p><p>wilbur replied.</p><p>“i’m sorry but i feel like i’ve been dying lately.”</p><p>wilbur what’s wrong </p><p>“tommy. tell me if you really care, or if your only standing there cause half of you is too scared to leave.”</p><p>“wilbur? of course i care your my bestfriend”</p><p>best friends</p><p>best friends don’t love each other this way. </p><p>especially when their 8 years younger than you.</p><p>“i love you tommy more than it should be i need your voice in my ears. there’s no love here.”</p><p>wilbur cried. he didn’t wanna answer that. he knew it was wrong and he shouldn’t have told him that.</p><p>it’s wrong </p><p>it hurt </p><p>so bad</p><p>he could take his life </p><p>but there was a chance </p><p>a chance tommy could care </p><p>and he felt the same </p><p>but this is bad for wilbur </p><p>he could go to jail </p><p>this is illegal </p><p>he threw his phone on the floor </p><p>he wanted to die. </p><p>but he knew he’d make people sad</p><p>all he wanted was tommy</p><p>wilbur got up and went into his bathroom not daring to look into the mirror. he was a mess and would probably cry more if he saw himself </p><p>he grabbed a small box from the bathroom walking back to his room</p><p>it was a box with razors, box cutters, knifes anything sharp you could think off.</p><p>wilbur hasn’t done anything with these in over 2 years but he couldn’t bare it anymore </p><p>he pulled his sleeves up brining a blade to his wrist. old scars from the past on his wrists. </p><p>wet hot tears falling from his eyes onto his arms</p><p>he was about to loose his progress of almost two years of being clean but it didn’t matter. </p><p>nothing mattered right now </p><p>he put the cold metal on his skin dragging it deeply along his wrist.</p><p>warm red blood bubbling up from the fresh cut. dripping quickly after each cut. he couldn’t control himself. so he kept going till his wrists were filled with cuts like cat scratches to cuts that would  be there forever.</p><p>blood dripped to the floor his blanket now stained with blood.</p><p>it stung but he didn’t care. he deserved this. he deserves the pain.</p><p>it’s his fault for everything. it’s his fault he has disgusting thoughts about his best friend who’s a minor.</p><p>he grabbed his phone off the floor.</p><p>seeing a message that broke him.</p><p>“tommyinnit: will. i’m sorry i don’t like you that way. i’m still your best friend and i won’t judge you but this wouldn’t work out”</p><p>he felt his heart fall apart. but he knew tommy was right </p><p>this wouldn’t work out, no matter how bad wilbur wanted it too.</p><p>wilbur wanted to hug tommy give the teen all the love he had.</p><p>but that’s in his imagination </p><p>what’s the point now </p><p>his dream would never come true </p><p>he should’ve known</p><p>falling in love with a child is wrong </p><p>but he did</p><p>and he hated it</p><p>why couldn’t he be normal </p><p>all he wanted now was closure and to fucking die.</p><p>he didn’t bother saying bye to anyone. he knew they would try to stop him with stupid words.</p><p>words don’t matter.</p><p>he cried feeling so numb </p><p>die </p><p>die </p><p>die.</p><p>his mind repeated those words </p><p>he didn’t want to</p><p>but he did</p><p>he wanted to die</p><p>he knew the consequences </p><p>he’d make people sad </p><p>he’d make tommy sad</p><p>he didn’t want to make people sad, but also he didn’t care.</p><p>though he knows tommy is gonna feel like it’s his fault.</p><p>it’s not</p><p>it’s his own fault.</p><p>he grabbed some random medication from his cabinet. who knew what it was for.</p><p>the bottle said take 2.</p><p>he took the rest of the bottle.</p><p>sitting against his locked bedroom door. </p><p>dying </p><p>almost passed out </p><p>on the verge of death </p><p>there was a faint call </p><p>of his name </p><p>from behind the locked door.</p><p>a familiar voice</p><p>he couldn’t figure who it was</p><p>his mind couldn’t think </p><p>he passed out </p><p>dead.</p><p>he was dead.</p><p>his lifeless body sat against the door. </p><p>blood stained on his wrists and clothes.</p><p>dried tears on his face,</p><p>and a empty bottle of pills.</p><p>his body now cold and lifeless </p><p>the sight of it could make anyone cry.</p><p>he was in pain for so long.</p><p>atleast it’s over now?</p><p>right?</p><p>the door opened with a loud noise.</p><p>this wasn’t what the one behind the door wanted to see.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading much appreciated, drink some water if you haven’t today &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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